Twas the morning of Thanksgiving and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring except a bleary eyed spouse
The SO was nestled all snug in his bed
While I stood and stared at the turkey with dread
I salted and seasoned its pink outer hyde
Oh please oh please don't let this come out dry
The SO finally arose with a sly smile
I going out for coffee be back in awhile
I look at the food to cook on this day
Then turn on Sandra Lee to try the semi-homemade way
She makes too many cocktail a waste of time
Maybe I'll open a bottle cuz' I need some wine
I chop and cut and boil and bake
Where's the SO with my cream for heavens sake
He comes in the door his cheeks red and ruddy
Here's your stuff I'll be in the study
I focus on cooking it's not too much of a chore
When suddenly there's a knock at the door
OMG the guests are early that can't be right
I need to take a shower and my hair is a fright
The SO emerges as I run to the bath
Remember be nice don't incur my wrath
I emerge all fresh sunny and clean
Oh crap I still need to do something with green beans
We all chat and drink and make small talk
I say if the food sucks it's Sandra Lee's fault
Turkey is done and so are the casseroles
So we fill up our plates and top off our bowls
We sit down to eat, laugh and make merry
Oh g*d dammit I forgot the cranberries
We clean off our dishes and head back for more
This is the one day a year it's okay to gorge
When we're all done I cannot lie
I hope you've room for fresh cream and pie
Four hours or more pass and we're all in repose
It's getting late and seriously you people need to go
So dash away dash away dash away all
Here's your coat the elevators down the hall
Then I exclaimed as I stared at the dirty dishes with spite
Ugh..f**k Thanksgiving--bring on Christmas!--And to all a good night!
Answer to previous trivia: August 21, 1959
This posts trivia: Which president declared Thanksgiving a national holiday?
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