It's a Friday night and I'm heading to the gym. One--because I don't want to become the stereotype of a blogger and two--yes I had nothing else to do on a Friday night so get off my back. Anyway I jump on the bike and plug in the ipod and begin staring mindlessly at the tv. It's on CNN and that Piers Morgan show is coming on. Tonight's guest include Steven Seagal, Wilson Phillips and Jessica Alba--folks looking for relevancy from 10, 20 and 30 years ago--I'll let you decide who fits which decade. I figure I'm in for a treat when I hear Seagal will be talking about US border security, Wilson Phillips on their new cd and reality show and Jessica Alba on parenthood and Obama and the current political situation. Fortunately for me the subtitles are on the tv and I can see what they are saying--oh joy.
Seagal was interviewed on law enforcement, border security and the Trayvon Martin case which is just great coming from a guy who made a movie career out of beating down Hispanic, African American and Muslim "bad guys". You'd think from his talk and perspective all we need to do is put a bunch of guys like himself on our borders (just Mexico--because Canadians are trying to return to Canada) and all will be right with the US world. It seems that last year Seagal lobbied, got and was sworn in by the West Texas Sheriffs department as a US/Mexico border patrol person and has been hanging in a truck with a weapon keeping us all safe. It's like his movie reality and and real life have joined forces which isn't anything new considering he was actually a fully commissioned Louisiana parish cop for several decades, even before he started filming the short lived reality craptanza Steven Seagal: Lawman. If you haven't seen it, it is worth a watch or two (ONLY) and it really is like he thinks he's filming a movie but the sh*t is going done--FO' REAL FOLKS! It just makes me feel safe all over. For me this was probably Seagal's scariest quote: "For me, if God blessed me with that one great hit, I'm satisfied. But I've still got a lot in me, and I'd still like to get out there and tell a lot more stories cinematically. And God willing, I'll get the chance to do that." That's right folks he wants to make more movies--so I ask--where's my border patrol for that?
After a cameo in the hit movie Bridesmaids, Wilson Phillips is trying to recapture that 90's glory with a full on assault on our ears and eyes with a new cd--Dedicated--and a new reality show Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On (but loosing our dignity) on the TVGuide Network?! Now all three of them, Wendy, Chynna and Carnie, looked good after all these years and to that I'm sure they say thank god for botox, face lifts, tummy tucks, heavy make-up and lap bands. Watching them talk, or more precisely watching Carnie dominate the conversations, it wasn't much I hadn't heard before and at times I mentally phased out on what was being said especially since I had my 80's going on the ipod and when "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo came out I completely checked--it's the jam y'all. About the only thing interesting that I saw was when they asked Chynna about being part of the Baldwin clan since she is married to William "Billy" Baldwin--knows as the (used to be) younger cuter of the Baldwin brothers. She said that Alec is the oldest so he thinks he knows what's right and sometimes he's right and sometimes he's wrong. And when asked about the Baldwins downsides she says they have a temper (maybe a reason she considered divorce from Billy last year?) and that sometimes their egos can be a tad inflated--just a tad? Really? Fascinating! Then "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats started playing (on the ipod) and I totally forgot about them. Much the way most folks will when their current 15 minutes passes. (Though I will admit I really liked their jam "Impulsive" back in the day.)
Now it's Jessica Alba and I've been on this bike for 40 minutes how can she keep me going? Well she really can't. She doesn't have a movie out, she's pushing some charity or something. Blah, blah, blah having kids, blah, blah, being really lucky (true--seriously have you seen her "act") blah, blah, education this or that (I don't think her kids will have to worry about paying for college like most kids--if they even go) blah, blah "our middle class is going away" (does she even know what that is--besides it being her personal assistant, nanny and trainer) "your very rich or your poor" (her very rich--her maid and gardener very poor) "I believe in capitalism for sure" (because that's how you can turn pretty looks and not much talent into a successful career!). Or maybe I was just delirious and dehydrated from nearly an hour on the bike so I was hallucinatorily reading between the lines...eh...whatever...Piers Morgan and his search for relevancy hour is over with a reminder for Earth Day on April 22nd since Jessica supports the Safe Chemicals Act now making its way through Congress!
God I'm exhausted now, mentally and physically, I think next time I'll just stick with some mindless sporting event or Anderson Cooper---he's sooo dreamy.
(For a complete transcript of this riveting hour of CNN-ness click here.)
Seagal was interviewed on law enforcement, border security and the Trayvon Martin case which is just great coming from a guy who made a movie career out of beating down Hispanic, African American and Muslim "bad guys". You'd think from his talk and perspective all we need to do is put a bunch of guys like himself on our borders (just Mexico--because Canadians are trying to return to Canada) and all will be right with the US world. It seems that last year Seagal lobbied, got and was sworn in by the West Texas Sheriffs department as a US/Mexico border patrol person and has been hanging in a truck with a weapon keeping us all safe. It's like his movie reality and and real life have joined forces which isn't anything new considering he was actually a fully commissioned Louisiana parish cop for several decades, even before he started filming the short lived reality craptanza Steven Seagal: Lawman. If you haven't seen it, it is worth a watch or two (ONLY) and it really is like he thinks he's filming a movie but the sh*t is going done--FO' REAL FOLKS! It just makes me feel safe all over. For me this was probably Seagal's scariest quote: "For me, if God blessed me with that one great hit, I'm satisfied. But I've still got a lot in me, and I'd still like to get out there and tell a lot more stories cinematically. And God willing, I'll get the chance to do that." That's right folks he wants to make more movies--so I ask--where's my border patrol for that?
After a cameo in the hit movie Bridesmaids, Wilson Phillips is trying to recapture that 90's glory with a full on assault on our ears and eyes with a new cd--Dedicated--and a new reality show Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On (but loosing our dignity) on the TVGuide Network?! Now all three of them, Wendy, Chynna and Carnie, looked good after all these years and to that I'm sure they say thank god for botox, face lifts, tummy tucks, heavy make-up and lap bands. Watching them talk, or more precisely watching Carnie dominate the conversations, it wasn't much I hadn't heard before and at times I mentally phased out on what was being said especially since I had my 80's going on the ipod and when "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo came out I completely checked--it's the jam y'all. About the only thing interesting that I saw was when they asked Chynna about being part of the Baldwin clan since she is married to William "Billy" Baldwin--knows as the (used to be) younger cuter of the Baldwin brothers. She said that Alec is the oldest so he thinks he knows what's right and sometimes he's right and sometimes he's wrong. And when asked about the Baldwins downsides she says they have a temper (maybe a reason she considered divorce from Billy last year?) and that sometimes their egos can be a tad inflated--just a tad? Really? Fascinating! Then "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats started playing (on the ipod) and I totally forgot about them. Much the way most folks will when their current 15 minutes passes. (Though I will admit I really liked their jam "Impulsive" back in the day.)
Now it's Jessica Alba and I've been on this bike for 40 minutes how can she keep me going? Well she really can't. She doesn't have a movie out, she's pushing some charity or something. Blah, blah, blah having kids, blah, blah, being really lucky (true--seriously have you seen her "act") blah, blah, education this or that (I don't think her kids will have to worry about paying for college like most kids--if they even go) blah, blah "our middle class is going away" (does she even know what that is--besides it being her personal assistant, nanny and trainer) "your very rich or your poor" (her very rich--her maid and gardener very poor) "I believe in capitalism for sure" (because that's how you can turn pretty looks and not much talent into a successful career!). Or maybe I was just delirious and dehydrated from nearly an hour on the bike so I was hallucinatorily reading between the lines...eh...whatever...Piers Morgan and his search for relevancy hour is over with a reminder for Earth Day on April 22nd since Jessica supports the Safe Chemicals Act now making its way through Congress!
God I'm exhausted now, mentally and physically, I think next time I'll just stick with some mindless sporting event or Anderson Cooper---he's sooo dreamy.
(For a complete transcript of this riveting hour of CNN-ness click here.)
Well, there's no way I'm going to watch him now. oooh... safety dance.
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