A BACON SHORTAGE?!! HOLY PORK-OCALYPSE!!

It's been widely reported that there will be a possible bacon shortage next year and if that happens it truly would be the end of the world. Forget the Mayans because this would truly suck. As I throw out that South card again, let's face it we live on pork and its by products and when we can't have it--it's time for a revolt. And don't give me that face, revolts have started for less, I mean look at Les Miserables--all that for a loaf of bread?

With a shortage would also come a price increase and seriously, bacon is already expensive--I don't want to have to float a loan to get a BLT at the local deli. Not to mention the blue plate breakfast special of bacon and eggs will no longer be cheap or on special at your neighborhood diner. Places already charge $2 or $3 to add bacon to a burger--just for 2 slices--how much more would it be? I'm already sweating lard just thinking about it.

Personally I think this is all a conspiracy to get people to actually buy more now and stock up for supposed dark, baconless days ahead. There will be episodes of Hoarders but instead of cats it will be pigs. That new rush of barbecue joints in town will now become the new hard to get into hot spot to see and be seen while dropping a load of cash on pulled pork and cracklins'. It will be stocked on the shelf next to the caviar. Old people will start reminiscing about the good ole' days when pigs were plentiful, you could get bacon at the Piggly Wiggly and the land was full of rib joints.

Of course now your goal is to go out and try all those things with bacon you've always wanted to try before they either disappear or priced out of range. The bacon sundae at Burger King. The maple bacon donut from Dynamo Donuts. The bacon chocolate bars from Vosges Chocolate. Pancakes and bacon, waffles and bacon, bacon cupcakes---oh hell--just go to the Bacon Freak website and get your pig on.

There are naysayers---or bacon-aggedon deniers. The folks at Slate thinks this is all hogwash and that the UK Pork Council is creating a senseless panic on the Internet, twitter and your local news. I mean who didn't hear about this? And if you didn't--were you in a bacon coma, because it has been freaking everywhere!

Ok, so I don't really believe so much there will be a shortage, at least not a real one, maybe a slightly manufactured one and probably only in the UK. But here we will be fine because folks in the states love their pork too much no matter what the Bible says--unclean--please. Though you will have to pay more and that is the sad fact of cost of living. So I do say go ahead and stock up next time there is a buy one get one free deal at the market. Bacon freezes well and once you fry it up nice and crispy it's mmm...mmm...tasty. Pork on people!

 
 
(Lest you think my obsession with bacon is mine alone there is even going to be a new television series called The United States of Bacon.)

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