It's a beautiful slightly breezy Saturday in San Francisco so I think, hey maybe I'll go outside and run down the Embarcadero. So I pull my lazy bum off the couch, suit up, lace up and head out. I'm a block from the house when I run into a bunch of naked people on bikes. Now this is San Francisco so I pretty much give the "I've lived here too long, this is nothing unusual eye-roll" as I just run past them. Pretty soon, however, they seem to have turned around and are coming my way with several shouting "wooo--hooo, it's World Naked Bike Ride Day." Turns out this is a real thing and not just some made up San Francisco thing just so people can be naked outside. And it really is a worldwide thing as you can see from this list where it's broken down into different dates for Western Hemisphere, March 10th, and Northern Hemisphere, June 9th. I guess I can understand this breakdown since even in March it could be really cold in places like Chicago and lets face it, bare skin and cold metal are not friends.
Pretty soon I'm engulfed in a steady stream of mostly saggy bums and boobies as they roll past me on bikes and oh look here comes a couple of skateboarders and all I can think is ugh, that would really hurt if they fell. Most of the flesh passing me by is the typical person you would expect to be nude in public--anyone who has ventured to a nude beach knows exactly what I mean. I do see one rather attractive body type roll by and think, nice, and of course I scan down, ooh he shaves and oh well, I didn't really think it was that cold out here, but hey, he's really secure in his manhood no matter what size it is so good on him.
Eventually they are all past me but alas, it seems they get as far as the Ferry Building and decide to turn around and come back--directly at me. I take this opportunity to actually look at the dressed people around me and how they are reacting to the display and it strikes me that by their reactions I can tell you is and who isn't a tourist. The San Francisco residents don't even seem to blink let alone give more than a cursory glance as this all is just par for the course of living here. Even the children are more interested in their balloon animals than the nudies on bikes. The tourists it seems are totally entranced and they all have their iPhones and cameras out snapping away so they can post them on Facebook and tell all their friends giddily they saw naked people while on vacation!
I think I've finally lost them as I head toward Crissy Field and turn around to come back. I get as far as Marina Green and oh dear gawd here they come again--right at me like a bad 3D nightmare. In one day I've seen more naked women's parts than I've seen in my entire life. I pick up my pace to clear away from them again when I pass 3 of them who have separated from the pack and stopped as one of the girls, who is covered in body paint and a frown says "I am not going down there, with the fog it's too cold." I really want to turn around and say "then don't ride your bike nekkid", but instead I just sigh, what good what it do, since she obviously doesn't see the irony of complaining about doing a naked bike ride in a city where it rarely gets above 60 degrees, even in the summer.
Fortunately this was my last encounter and I was able to finish my run in peace without seeing anymore pieces. So next time you decide to get out on a sunny day and see lots of naked people on bikes, it is a real event and yes it's okay to look--if you dare.
Pretty soon I'm engulfed in a steady stream of mostly saggy bums and boobies as they roll past me on bikes and oh look here comes a couple of skateboarders and all I can think is ugh, that would really hurt if they fell. Most of the flesh passing me by is the typical person you would expect to be nude in public--anyone who has ventured to a nude beach knows exactly what I mean. I do see one rather attractive body type roll by and think, nice, and of course I scan down, ooh he shaves and oh well, I didn't really think it was that cold out here, but hey, he's really secure in his manhood no matter what size it is so good on him.
Eventually they are all past me but alas, it seems they get as far as the Ferry Building and decide to turn around and come back--directly at me. I take this opportunity to actually look at the dressed people around me and how they are reacting to the display and it strikes me that by their reactions I can tell you is and who isn't a tourist. The San Francisco residents don't even seem to blink let alone give more than a cursory glance as this all is just par for the course of living here. Even the children are more interested in their balloon animals than the nudies on bikes. The tourists it seems are totally entranced and they all have their iPhones and cameras out snapping away so they can post them on Facebook and tell all their friends giddily they saw naked people while on vacation!
I think I've finally lost them as I head toward Crissy Field and turn around to come back. I get as far as Marina Green and oh dear gawd here they come again--right at me like a bad 3D nightmare. In one day I've seen more naked women's parts than I've seen in my entire life. I pick up my pace to clear away from them again when I pass 3 of them who have separated from the pack and stopped as one of the girls, who is covered in body paint and a frown says "I am not going down there, with the fog it's too cold." I really want to turn around and say "then don't ride your bike nekkid", but instead I just sigh, what good what it do, since she obviously doesn't see the irony of complaining about doing a naked bike ride in a city where it rarely gets above 60 degrees, even in the summer.
Fortunately this was my last encounter and I was able to finish my run in peace without seeing anymore pieces. So next time you decide to get out on a sunny day and see lots of naked people on bikes, it is a real event and yes it's okay to look--if you dare.
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