(UPDATE: I finally heard this and sigh, my gay holiday dreams have been crushed and "I Think You Might Like It" is probably the worst thing ever (next to its video). Between her plastic face and his shoe polished on hair it's not campy but simply a travesty to Christmas music and fans everywhere. To wash the taste out of my ears I'll just listen to the "Grease" soundtrack again and remember the good times then chase it with "Christmas With the Rat Pack" and a cocktail---yes definitely need a cocktail after that.)
While it's only 80 some days till December 25th, Christmas came early to web-land today as news broke that Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta were recording a holiday album--together! Click here for the official press release. As if Mr. Travolta didn't have enough gay rumors continue to swirl around him and his alleged visits to male masseurs he goes and does this:
While it's only 80 some days till December 25th, Christmas came early to web-land today as news broke that Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta were recording a holiday album--together! Click here for the official press release. As if Mr. Travolta didn't have enough gay rumors continue to swirl around him and his alleged visits to male masseurs he goes and does this:
It looks like Christmas with the Plastics. They look like they are either totally drunk off their ass or both just got a massage with a happy ending. I'm not totally sure but it looks like Travolta likes "cream" in his coffee. If this isn't currently the gayest thing on earth I'm not sure what is. I mean does Xenu know about this? I mean this screams gay louder than the love child of Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly. Gay icon Olivia--of Grease and Xanadu--which is utterly and totally fantastically awful and wonderful at the same time--is really giving us all a gift for bloggers, webbers and comedians everywhere. But the news gets better as there will be special guest appearances by Sir Cliff Richard (girl enough with the plastic surgery!), Kenny G (ugh...) and second mother of all gays next to Judy Garland--Barbra Streisand! The only one missing is Liza for god's sake--what? was she busy--I don't think so. Let's take a look at the partial tracklist that's been released shall we:
"I'll Be Home for Christmas"-ONJ, JT and Babs--middle aged gay men and gay retirees everywhere are having heart palpitations--this could be the trio-ette that resurrects Judy Garland--can someone get me a gay wiccan?
"Winter Wonderland"-ONJ, JT, Tony Bennett and the Count Basie Orchestra--seriously they are still alive
"Deck The Halls"-ONJ, JT and James Taylor--this is for the baby boomers who 70's pot use didn't kill all their brain cells
"This Christmas"-ONJ, JT and Chick Corea--this is for the contemporary jazz lover and let's it be played in dentist offices and elevators everywhere
"Rockin Around The Christmas Tree"-ONJ, JT and Kenny G--see above plus add in Hanukkah
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"-ONJ, JT and Sir Cliff Richard--this is strictly for the Brits because, well, they are the only ones who still remember him
"I Think You Might Like It"-ONJ and JT--a special new song written just for this album by John Farrar--Olivia's longtime songwriter who did "Magic" and "Hopelessly Devoted To You" for her. This is being touted as an "official" follow-up to "You're The One That I Want" from Grease. But let's take a moment to ask--did they not think about the implications of this song title? At this point I think we already now they might like--by that I mean sex with men people--and I say that without tongue firmly implanted in cheek though whose tongue and which cheek is still in question. Maybe they mean Scientology and this is a subtle ploy to indoctrinate not so innocent gays (cause let's face it they are probably about the only ones who will buy this cd--yes me included) into the fold and "change" them. I just can't stop thinking what they might like. Sure, sure, sure, you think they are talking about Christmas but are they really....
"Baby It's Cold Outside"-ONJ and JT--so come in and get a massage and warm up
"Silent Night"-ONJ and JT--that's what happens when the massagers are paid off
"The Christmas Waltz"-ONJ and JT--I got nothing
"White Christmas"-ONJ and JT--cum is white right?
"The Christmas Song"-ONJ and JT--new meaning to chestnuts roasting on an open fire
"Auld Lang Syne/Christmas Time Is Here"-ONJ and JT--they just had to drag the Peanuts into this didn't they.
Let's face it--this whole collection screams Starbucks cd and don't be surprised if they sign some special distribution deal with them or possibly Target.
What some folks might not know is that Travolta didn't just start singing in "Grease", when he was on Welcome Back Kotter he was so hot he released an album and had a Top Ten hit called "Let Her In"--it hit number 10. He even managed to scrape into the lower part of the Top 40 with two crappy follow-ups ("All Strung Out On You" and "Whenever I'm Away From You") before hitting it big with songs from "Grease". It will be interesting to hear just how much auto tune is done, but hey, Cher had a big comeback with it so why not Travolta.
While I may have this weird fascination with Christmas music, I have over 1000 holiday songs, I don't know if I will be plunking down the dough for this download. I really do have to hear some of it first since, while I love Miss O, her voice is not as strong as it once used to be. That being said it's still a Christmas surprise (miracle?) that has managed to brighten every one's day in these early dog days of October--I know it did me.
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